Waka Waka, the goals don't lie... welcome to the Shaqiri show!
26/06/14 02:39
Day 14 in the Footcall house...
The day after the night before! As we all lick our wounds with the exit of England and the gashed shoulder of Chiellini in the Italian's case we waited with bated breath for the governing body to decide what to whilst Mr Suarez has a new set of dentures fitted. The Uruguayan captain came out today to release a statement, now Mrs J will tell you that my Spanish is not all that hot, the best I can manage is "¿Hay un dentista en la casa" but I'm sure I heard him say in the press conference this was all a storm in a tooth mug! We asked Sir David Attenborough his views on this subject and he said, "statistically, you are more likely to be bitten by Luis Suarez than a shark!"
Not particularly comforting to the fans and he is now potentially facing a 24 month ban which could even have domestic implications. It gets worse, FIFA are revoking his Tufty Club membership and he is going to have to sell his complete set of World Cup Panini sticker albums just to pay his legal fees - and he even had the very rare Marco Tardelli sticker in the 1982 album! Suarez himself is keeping a low profile but he did announce on Twatter (the professional footballers' social network) that he hopes the ban won't come in until after the tournament and he gets to play Germany in the next round, as he quite fancies a shoulder of Laam! I think his chances of dodging this particular bullet are slim and it's rumoured that Johnny Cochrane has turned down the opportunity to represent him - and he was the guy who got OJ Simpson off!
Well that's enough of that nonsense, we've got football to talk about. First up was the blue and white stripes of Argentina taking on the Green and Blacks of Nigeria in one match whilst Bosnia-Herzegovina played Iran in the simulcast. Argentina were cruising in Group F but the team that were going to join them was still up for grabs. Well it didn't take long as the South Americans struck early, as Messi powered in the first of the match in only the third minute. Surely this was going to be a one horse race but the old adage of being vulnerable just after you've scored was brought to bear once again as Nigeria's Musa swerved in a peach of shot to make it one all barely 90 seconds after the restart. On the stroke of halftime the Argentinian talisman struck again with an amazing free kick he got up and over the wall to embarrass the Nigerian keeper, would you believe we've had 102 goals in this tournament so far and this is only the second one from a free kick - where's the likes of Beckham, Koeman, Roberto Carlos and Riise when you need em? After the break Nigeria were not going to lie down and two minutes in the scores were all level again as Musa made it two each. The game was in the balance but the class finally showed through as Rojo kneed in the winner from a lovely corner ball. Nigeria couldn't manage another equaliser and so it ended two one.
In the other game there were also plenty of net busters as the previously thwarted Dzeko opened the scoring in the 23rd minute. The Iranians needed a win or possibly a draw (or possibly a very tall bloke) to get through the group stages. This was looking increasingly unlikely as Pjanic put the Bosies two up. With ten minutes to go, Ghoochannejhad (worth a whopping 102 on a triple word score) did manage to get Iran on the scoresheet but just like in the counterpart match they switched off momentarily and Vrsajevic capped off the game with Bosnia's third. So it finished 3-1 but as it happened this was another one of those French letters past it's sell by date because Nigeria who lost their game went through with Argentina.
The evening games saw Group E come to a conclusion. Plenty to play for here as France met Ecuador and Switzerland played Honduras. France who had already qualified showed plenty of form in previous games and Benzema was on the field ready to give Messi, Neymar and Muller a run for the Golden Boot. Lots of good chances went begging and both keepers had to work very hard. Sadly the game took on a different complexion as the Ecuador Captain, Antonia Valencia, was sent off for a bad challenge (although we have seen people stay on for worse) on Lucas Digne, a cynic would say it was the French protests that prompted the ref to dig out the red. After a few chances here and there the best of these probably fell to Noboa who was in on goal but sliced it comically wide of the French sticks. What was really funny however was the hair net the Ecuadorian was wearing to protect a head injury which looked something like a cross between an onion bag and a bank robbers pair of tights! Needless to say it finished nil nil which was not the result Ecuador were looking for.
Let's jump over to BBC3 (Oh, I wondered what this channel was for :-) as the Swiss were playing the Hondurans, which they had to win to invoke the complicated qualification process of deciding who was going through with the French. Well the Swiss striker Xherdan Shaqiri showed he was a one many army as he used his little pocket knife to unstitch the Honduran defence not once, not twice but three times! The first came early doors as he struck one of the goals of the tournament in the sixth minute. Twenty five minutes later he doubled his tally as he raced into the box to clinically dispatch his second. The Swiss rode their luck as Bengtson went close and then a penalty shout was turned down for Honduras. "Whenever, wherever" the ball was, Shaqiri seemed to pop up and dance round the Hondurans as he be like Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout. Deep into the second half, Enter Shaqiri once more (little post-hardcore alternative metal reference for you there) as he scooped his hat-trick and take the match ball and his nation into the Knockout Stages! Ecuador and Honduras were heading home but looking at the map, it doesn't look that far so maybe they could walk it?
Apparently most neutrals wanted Ecuador to win but surely I would have thought most neutrals would have wanted Switzerland to win?
And so to the Footcall league...
We have a new leader! Mr Robert Pritchard is sitting atop o' table looking down on us all. Only by a single point mind from Andy Brunt and the Footcall mastermind that is Matt (I've been dreamin' about this my whole life) Clark! Robert's friend Stuart is hanging in there making a nuisance of himself at the right end of the table. Dan (the Footcall man) Shroeck made a bigger leap than Enner Valencia at the back post as he has moved up into 7th. We are now starting to see some separation in the league standings. Tim Jennings did well today as did Jo (David, please do not text me during a match) Mackenzie, Thomas Baus, Aaron (I felt really confident about my predictions) Sutcliffe, James Ridley, Bryan (is this my first mention?) Relf, Chris (I deserve to be higher up the table) Amos, Danny (the Champion of 113th spot) Thompson, Adam (I was given bad advice on my scores) Palmer, Alex (longtime Footcaller) Church, Will (hey Dad I'm catching you now) Relf and Steve Goodwin all picked up red squares today.
My players of the day have to go to Keith (the drums) Reynolds who scored a three on the first game of the tournament and has had to wait another 13 days before collecting his second! And to Elizabeth (who knew football could be so much fun?) Mailey who was today's top scorer with an impressive seven point haul. She's rocketed into 117th place as the Knockout Stages appear on the horizon.
That'll do for today, over and out!
David